How Rude.

Well Thursday I headed into a very rainy, windy and quite chilly Melbourne, had lunch down a great place known as the Degraves street. Quite a narrow street which runs over 2 blocks. Man it was busy! Not only has it great selection of all the various foods you can think of its fairly popular with just about anyone.

Once lunch had been inhaled I texted Dan an old school friend (see previous pic) to ask if he wanted to meet for a coffee. He replied that he'd been to a Tomahawk gig the previous night and had a lot of studying to do so he wasn't able. Upon recognition that Tomahawk is fronted by a man I've had a crush on since I was...12,13?? I told Dan that if I saw Mike Patton in Melbourne I would probably kidnap him and use him as a sex slave for the rest of his life. To which Dan replied "hahahahhahaha It's Mike that got us the tickets". turns out his baby mama Lolly is mates with him (I've confirmed with Facebook...it's true!) and he gets her tickets every time he comes to Melbourne and goes for the odd lunches together.....(green with envy/jealousy) How rude not inviting me. Probably a good thing as you Faith No More, Mr. Bungle, Fantômas, Tomahawk, Peeping Tom, Lovage, John Zorn, Kaada/Patton, Dillinger Escape Plan, Hemophiliac, Maldoror, General Patton vs. The X-Ecutioners, Rahzel, Zu would never of seen him again! much hahahahhahaha muahhahahaha muah hahahahhahaha........

 

I definitely would.

 

Town house to die for.

Tuesday was another outing courtesy of Jessaroo. We went to Jess's dads house (who's Swiss austrailianized) to have dinner. Situated in the trendy but not pretentious Richmond we had a lovely dinner on the terrace over looking the city, wine in hand!

Beautiful townhouse well designed...

 

The night ended with me eating a Ragusa and smoking a cigar.

 

 

Extreme home make overs.

The last couple of days have not been the best weather so I've decided to catch up on some trashy T.V. I've become once again a little bit addicted to Extreme make over home edition. I know what your thinking, Ty is annoying as hell, but it has me in tears every time. Sharon who lost both her arms and legs, no head and was raised by dingos, has adopted all the parentless children of the world and lives on 1 dollar a week she Needs a new house....... Maybe not that extreme but something along those lines. So they build her a WHOLE NEW HOUSE!!!!!

The other one is "the block", it seems all English speaking countries have gone home improvement mad.

Well as my bum hole healed over, I decided to get my SIM card for my telephone sorted. Chirnside Park is a shopping centre just outside of Moorloolbark... I did think for a moment I was back in the UK........Chavtastic and over weight acrilyc nail sporting house wives or Bogen as they say here. Needless to say comedy on every corner.

Which brings me to the start of my Ozzie dictionary/phrase book.

Bogen or Bogan: Neanderthal types who drive utes (car style pick ups) wear wife beaters, have shit tattoos, drink drive and generally have the accumulative brain cell of 3 gold fishes.

Greetings in Australia tend to start with "hiya how ya goin" or "how are ya" which usually renders UK and possible Swiss nationals with a confused look and a "what the fuck has it gotta do with you" in their thought pattern. Never the less I have warmed to the greeting and now reply with a "g'day mate fine ya selves"

More entries to follow...

After hours on the technical side of Telstra (OZ phone network), progress was made only because I acknowledged everyone that works for Telstra are special editions. Once sorted I took the sunshine bus back home. End result phone works!

 

Melbourne Melbourne Melbourne

Then I took a free tour bus that goes around the city's main areas..I started near Federation square (always good for a protest) and went through to Jolimont, a place where the commonwealth games were held and where the major arenas are.. Then up to Exhibition Street and Collins Street.. Lots of theaters and posh shops (Louis Vitton Löru!)

Then it was Carlton gardens and the royal exhibition building..

Then it was up to Hipster land Gertrude street and Brunswick Street, cool and very hip, but a bit up itself. Not the area but the hipsters. Before sitting down in a cute quirky cafe, the moody waitress let out a groan. "I'm sorry" I replied "are you not open". "Yeah youi neeyd a warta". I think my English accent eased her mardyness but still, one by one they came out to admire my European display of brands..."nice shoes, cool bag"........... "I know" and that was that. (Shoes, Lili Mill Kitchener Bern Thanks).

 

Brunswick is soo calling out for a Kitchener Filiale.... You know what I mean ;)

Mardy Bum Cafe A.K.A Sonido

 

Melbourne Melbourne Melbourne

With the Molenaar's at work I decided to venture in myself.

Not bitching about Switzerland, ok maybe I am but.....People just talk here...like Britain. Not scared to strike up a conversation. On my way to the train station which was a 15 minute walk, I had about 4 conversations with random locals. Being British myself this is normal. Switzerland for 14 years this is not.

Micheal Jackson is everywhere!!!

Anyways I took the train from Moorloolbark station to Melbourne Central (picture is Flinders Street Station) a 45 minute train ride. Even though there is a lot of Victorian Terrence's there's still the feeling Melboure is pretty new but very homely. It's a lovely clean city with street performers on every corner and has your "bond street" and "Soho" type areas..

A little walk thought the inner city blocks took me near "Forum" a cool theatre which was hosting cypress hill tonight...tempted! And the sides street paid homage to some great Melbourne street artists.

 

 

 

 

Binh Min.

Short lived healthy glow, turned into rolling bellies as we went to Richmond afterwards to Bihn Min's... Recommended and driven to by Jess..A fantastic no frills, straight up tacky as you like Vietnamese wonder restaurant and literally stuffed our gobs!!!!

Jess and I have discovered that we are quite similar. Not having the time in Zermatt to get to know one another, this last week we've shared the same love for certain things. One of them is Peking Duck. Sorry no picture we inhaled it before it touched the table...

Even I couldn't eat anymore and had to doggie bag most of it...

 

Oh yes I did take a picture of it... How hipster of me!!!

 

Beers and short lived healthiness...

Melbourne has been added to my favorite city's...Not the cheapest even by Swiss standards but definitely cool..very vibrant, and not short of hipsters.. It's usually a sign.

We hung around south bank where the promenade was not short of cool bars and guitar wielding duos.. And I even saw my first Aborigine, a charming fellow who was definitely not short of a few comedy stories.

"I tried to get in the casino but they wouldn't let me in, cos I'm naked"

 

South bank

 

Then we went to Richmond.

 

Stop. Pool time.

Well after a couple of days on the road we treated ourselves to some pool time..yes I am a bit red like an English typical milk bottle skinned blighty, but starting to look "healthy".

 

The 12 Apostles

The last day took us to the 12 apostles near port Campbell, there's not 12 left but about 6 due to the harsh conditions of the ocean... None the less blaaady beautifaaall.

 

 

 

Straight up in the information department..gooodonya

 

 

 

Apollo bay and Tree top walk..

Apollo bay was the next sleep stop, we checked in and then drove to the Otway tree top walk. A nice place where you can walk along the great big gum trees.

 

Apart from being gobbed on by an asbo, it was lovely. The Jess and Jorg Meister had it all under control..

 

 

 

 

 

Maits Rest..and koalas!

After having a great breakfast at the Kafe Kaos..definite recommendation to anyone traveling along that route we're back on the road again..direction Apollos bay..

First stop Maits Rest, a lovely forest walk where you look like your in the middle of..Middle earth.

After being recommended by shaz in the tourist info, the lady informed us that if we wanted to see some koalas in their natural habitat we should go down the Otway lighthouse road. There we could see (in her own words) "koalas eating themselves stupid" which is exactly what they were doing. Moved on from the inner bush, now to the lush trees that hang over the road. There they were, Koalas eating themselves stupid.

 

Then back to middle earth and into apollos bay...